Meet Cute

“I just met someone.” Those are the words that people are usually glad to hear. “How did you meet? Were you introduced? What is he/she like? How long have you been seeing each other?” All valid questions.

This just happened to me. It was an incredibly uncomfortable beginning with a very positive ending.

Let me explain. I was supposed to meet some friends at a bar to listen to a particular band. These were 3 friends that I played tennis with. They said they would get a table for 5 and that I should meet them there at 7pm. I was nervous.  I do not “do” bars. They knew this because I told them so. I am always uncomfortable going into a bar on my own. I told them that this going dancing was the first time I had been out since my husband passed away 2 years ago so please look out for me when I meet you at the bar. Two of the tennis friends were former widows, now married again. They said they understood. (Spoiler alert: HA! Don’t believe that.)

I got to the bar at 6:55pm and ran into another two women from my community down in Florida. They said, please sit with us. One lady was dating the leader of the band. I got a “glass of courage”, a nice sauvignon blanc, perched myself on a bar stool near these two women and proceeded to look at the front door for my friends. Fifteen minutes went by. No friends. I texted and called them, even walked through the whole establishment to see if they were seated already. My friends were not there. I had a second glass of courage.

After 30 more minutes, long story short, I texted, called again and walked through the place for the third time, looking at every table. All of a sudden I heard “Nancy, imagine seeing you here!” There was a table of 12 people, 6 couples composed of my tennis friends and others. They were eating dinner! I said,” Didn’t you get my text messages? I have been sitting by the front door waiting for you.”

Their answer was “we never look at our phones when we are out.” My tennis friend said, “Just pull up a chair.” I said “I am pissed. You knew how nervous I was to come out. I am now going back to sit with the band.” I walked off, royally irritated. I was ready to leave but the two women from my community said please stay. I felt mortified but I had not finished my drink so I decided to stay a bit longer. Never leave a place with your tail between your legs. It is unattractive and makes you look defeated.

That’s when it happened. Here I am fuming, annoyed, finishing my second glass of wine and I am introduced to a very calm, nice looking, quiet man. He was a friend of the head of the band.  He asked if he could buy me a glass of wine. Right out of my mouth came “No” because I doubted I could handle a third glass but then I said “yes” because I wanted to talk to him. (You can tell after so many years of being married that I had reverted to being a rookie when it comes to the social scene.)

He walked my home, asked me for my number and the rest is history. We have gone to brunch with the leader of the band and his girlfriend. He came to a wine tasting and met my friends. We see each other just about every day and talk on the phone several times a day. We both have complicated pasts and believe in “compartmentalizing” thus explaining past history only on a need to know basis. No big dumps of information. Just enjoy ourselves from this point on. Will we continue to see each other? I certainly think so. We are very different but in a good way.

Moral of the story: Be interested in the person who is interested in you. Never turn down an opportunity. (You only need to sip not finish the third glass of wine.) And for heaven sake, keep your sense of humor.

PS Yes, I already found new people to play tennis with.

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